16 just held such better days.

Having grown up in Detroit, I have a misplaced affection for Detroit Lions football.  By no means would I call myself a die-hard fan, for I have already "died" quite easily.  But still I follow the team, watch them when I can, and can't seem to work my self into a state of apathy.

The Lions have just completed a winless season, going 0-16 and becoming the first NFL team to do so.  0-16: A perfect season.  Honestly, I'm glad they did it.  This team has been trying to go winless for several seasons now, and I'm happy to see that they finally accomplished their goal.

I got to see the final game of the season while I was home for Christmas.  I was impressed.  To have a perfect season, it's not just talent that accomplishes it.  You have to do "the little things" as well.  And the Lions did the little things that need to be done to lose this game.  As they were driving with a chance to kick a field goal to go within one score of tying the game, Lions running back Kevin Smith committed an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty that resulted in a long third down situation and, additionally, pushed the Lions out of field goal range.  That's the kind of thing you can't coach: just as you can't teach speed, you can't teach suck.

Losing sixteen games is too small of a goal for the Lions.  I propose that if another team ever goes 0-16 again, that the NFL let them into the playoffs as the lowest seed in the conference, with a caveat: by rule they cannot win the Super Bowl.  The moment they win, that team's season is over.  See how many they can lose before calling it a season.  "Win AND go home."  Surely this Lions team has at least two more losses in them.  Plus they have to have a goal to shoot for next year.

So here's to you 2008 Detroit Lions.  Like the current economic downturn due to the auto industry, inept management and leadership has been unable to see the awful inevitability even though it's been forseeable for several years.

Wiki Wednesday - Nov 19

You get what you pay for.  Wikipedia is an online encyclopedia based on the idea of consensus rather than credentials.  "Millions of people can't be wrong.  Therefore neither can one."  To celebrate the ever-changing nature of Wiki's information, one of the regular features I hope to post is Wiki Wednesday.

The format will be 5 "facts" as presented by Wiki.  However, in all editions of Wiki Wednesday, #5 is actually true.  This weekend is the annual meeting of Michigan and Ohio State in football.  Considering this, here are...

The 5 Things You Didn't Know About the Michigan Wolverines (but would have if you had checked Wikipedia on the right day)

1. On average, Michigan cheerleaders are 45% heavier than other college cheerleaders, and they have the uncanny ability to eat their weight in McDonalds $1 double cheeseburgers.

2. Michigan's mascot is named Wolfy Wolverine.

3. Following Michigan's loss to Appalachian State, there was the inexplicable sound of babies crying 

4. Michigan's team name is the "Flying Mullets"

5. Michigan beat Notre Dame in their first 8 meetings.  When Notre Dame notched their first win against Michigan in 1909, Michigan refused to schedule them again until 1942.  Michigan won the 1942 meeting, but Notre Dame won the following year.  After angering Michigan with another win, Michigan refused (again) to schedule them until 1978.

Efficient Like Me

We all grow up hearing certain things, being taught certain behaviors, and never question them.  For a long time, I have led a lifestyle that questions one of those behaviors.

I do not make my bed.

The way I see it, the point of making your bed is to get the covers up to a position where they are covering you.  I do this anyway when I lie down.  By making your bed, you are adding at least two extra steps to your day every day:

1) placing your blankets so that they cover the whole bed

2) pulling them back down so that you can get in bed

3) [optional] tucking your covers under your mattress.

That third one strikes me as particularly ludicrous.  It only makes both steps 1 and 2 harder.  You can additionally make even step 3 harder by insisting on hospital corners.  Gah!

Bed Makers will argue that it's about restoring order or making your bedroom presentable.  Why do I need to make my bedroom presentable?  What business do guests have checking out my room?  And even if they do, is my point to trick them into thinking that NO ONE in fact lives there?

According to the second law of thermodynamics, entropy or disorder will always increase.  The condition of my bed coverings will be tend towards disorder anyway by virtue of the fact that I am sleeping.  Making my bed only causes an increase in body heat and expended carbon dioxide (due to more frequent breathing), thus contributing to Global Warming.  In these times of awareness concerning energy conservation, I am just doing my part.

I am a bigger believer in efficiency.  I see no point in spending effort to do something that will just be undone 16 hours later.  Next time you see someone's living conditions, before you jump to the conclusion that the person is lazy, consider the fact that they may be merely thoughtfully efficient.

Letter from the Editor

Hello reader!  Thank you for perusing this almanac.  I hope it brings you information, provokes thought, and entertains you.

I hope to include some regularly recurring features, as well as other one-time posts.  I plan to incorporate written features as well as the occasional video or podcast.

A quick word about the title:  So there is no misunderstanding due to the title, this is not intended to be a topical column on the modern work environment.  These are merely the musings of one occupant of that work environment (thus, the singular possessive form of 'farmer').  The topics will likely be as wide-ranging as are the thoughts of this cube farmer.

Again, welcome and enjoy!